Everyone should have an anthem...

     I love music!! If you know me personally, not an hour can go by without me saying "I love this song!"

     Maybe it's just me, and I am probably going to make myself look ridiculous, but whenever you are doing something mundane or going about your daily routine, do you ever imagine a score playing in the background? Maybe you are out grocery shopping, and instead of accepting the boredom, you make it very James Bond with some tunage in your head?

     My brother has a song for everything. Literally, everything. I will be having a normal conversation and one word sparks a serenade. So it made me wonder, if my life had a soundtrack, what would it be?

     I have decided to find out. Once the list is complete I will make a CD, get in my car, and sing at the top of my lungs! I encourage you to do the same :)

The Stupidity is Overwhelming!

      So I was thinking of stuff to write about today, and when I do that I browse online at articles or topics of interest. Well, today must have been one of those days where the world simultaneously quit using their brains, and all their stupid fell out. Instead of writing about just one thing, I have decided to include links to the few things that made me a) slap my forehead, b) roll my eyes, or c) do both while shaking my head and calling people idiots :) I swear I'm a nice person!! :) So enjoy these with me!

Does Paul Ryan's Black Ex- Girlfriend matter?  Answer: Who cares what color she is. Would it be a big deal if she wasn't black? No. If race matters then ask our President what worked for him. Because it certainly wasn't a negative voter issue four years ago. I'm not the best blogger in the world, but if you are going to be a political correspondent, like the author of said article, turn your brain on before your computer and you will be much more successful.

Would you pay $10 for a can of air from Paris? Answer: Who cares if it's from Paris. I personally think it is ridiculous that people would waste their money on this. It has air from the Louvre?!! Gee, no thanks. That won't mix well with the hardened criminal air I get for free from Detroit :)

The Oakland Press Police Blotter. A whole bunch of ridiculous rolled into one, neat, little article.
    
     If you have an idiot of the day moment, please share. I do enjoy a good laugh!!
    

Coexisting: How hard is it, really?

     With all of the recent shootings, and crimes against others because of differing opinions and lifestyles, it made me wonder what was so hard about accepting the fact that not everyone will ever or always agree. The most narrow minded people claim to be the most open minded and accepting of others lifestyle choices, opinions, etc. People say they coexist, but do they really?

     I was born and raised Baptist. I was brought up on the teachings of the Bible, and my Pastor is one of the greatest people I know. But I will be the first to admit that Christians are no better when it comes to saying they accept and love people for who they are, then turn around and tear a person down because they are gay, drink, smoke cigarettes, have children and sex out of wedlock, etc. Do we not remember the days of religious persecution?

      I coexist. I am an open minded Christian that believes that whatever the people of the world believe to be their personal faith or religion, somebody is right. Somebody is wrong. Who knows? We could all be right or all be wrong. But I will not live my life persecuting others and turning my back on my fellow man because we may not agree on the ways of the world.

     Who are we to judge? Isn't that what the Bible says? (Matthew 7) I once dated an atheist and not once did we ever get into an argument about which of us was "right" or "wrong". I never forced my beliefs on him and he didn't force his. People that knew me (both Christian and non) judged me for dating someone that wasn't a Christian like myself. We broke up eventually, but I found out shortly after that that he had become a Christian. People can and do leave a lasting impression.

     Even if you are not a Christian, don't believe in God, or have any kind of faith based practices, who are you to judge those that do? Live and let live. We need to quit scoffing and sticking our noses up at people who, God forbid, don't agree with us. Did you ever pause to think that some people just simply don't understand? Next time you are in a conversation with someone with different opinions and world views, respect them and accept the fact that you don't agree. It's amazing the response you will get. Love and respect go a lot further than hate and disparagement.

     So I ask, How hard is it to coexist? It's not.

Q & A: Why not?

     I have often been told that I am a good listener and that I give sound advice. That compliment is usually met with surprise (from me) and an internal thought of, Really?

      It makes me wonder how and why people seem to think that. And the only answer I can come up with is that while I am subtly nosy, I know that it helps to keep your mouth shut when someone is really trying to talk to you. I am glad people enjoy talking to me.

     But I also enjoy picking people's brains. So much so that I find myself apologizing for my intrusion, but that doesn't stop me. I want to turn the tables. I like hearing about things that make people tick, or topics that liked to be discussed, or opinions that are either the same or differ from mine. I like conversations where from the outside looking in it looks like a debate, but in reality it is just two people that appreciate the fact that just because we may not totally agree doesn't mean we should stop what is turning into an awesome conversation.

     So back to the table turning. I tend to digress :) I want you to pick my brain. Ask me a question. Suggest a topic you would like to read about. I will put in the research then offer you my unique point of view. I will answer your question through email or blog post. I want to have the biggest ongoing conversation with as many people in as many countries as possible. Here is my email: wrkingrl83@yahoo.com.

     Send me comments, suggestions, ideas, etc. I look forward to hearing from you!!!

Faded memory of a bully...

     One of my favorite lyrics is in a song called "Wounded" by Third Eye Blind. They sing "Back down the bully to the back of the bus, 'cause it's time for them to be scared of us."

      Bullying has always been a huge issue, and thankfully more and more awareness is being brought to the surface. My nephew was being subjected to bullying while taking the bus home everyday after school. It made my heart sink to my stomach whenever he would talk about it. Luckily, he did tell us about it. Some kids fear that no help will come there way, and keep silent on the issue.

     How do you teach a child about how to deal with something like bullying, whether it is physical, mental or verbal? How do you put it in terms that even the youngest victim can understand? After all, it doesn't or ever will make much sense as to why it is happening.

     I believe words are the most powerful weapon any human can wield. Words have the ability to demean, destruct, uplift, and build. They are the most true form of expression. Violence is not the answer. My son may turn out to have a sharp tongue, but his knuckles will remain unbruised, providing he never has to go through this. But how do you prove that to a person who is a victim of abuse, such as bullying?

     I don't have the answers but I did come across this article online. 8 Sneaky Signs Your Child's Being Bullied will hopefully give you some preventative or after incident tips on how to deal with this issue. If your family is going through this right now, do not hesitate to get as many people involved as possible to make sure the matter is being taken care of.

     Remember: Bullying is not limited to school playgrounds. It is something that affects all ages, in any environment. Don't be afraid to step in if you see it happening, even to a perfect stranger. Change needs to begin somewhere. Lead by example.

More studies, yet no progress...

     So I read this article, "The Internet lowers self esteem in teen girls" and my first thought was, Duh!

     I know I have touched on this subject before, but it is something that really irks me. Take a look and leave your opinion in the comments.

     The internet is this generation's magazine.  I work in the print media industry and everything is going digital. The ads and pictures on the internet are no different than what girls see or read in books and magazines. If anything they are more easily accessible. Especially to girls too young to earn their own money to be able to purchase magazines.

     If the same amount of energy that was used to promote fashion was put into reassuring girls that looks (weight/ facial features) weren't everything, there wouldn't be nearly as many girls with low self esteem. Or lacking any at all for that matter.

     Everyone needs to understand that we are all beautiful in our own way. What needs to be said or done to get that simple truth through people's heads?

     I am vowing to do my part to make sure the people I come across get acknowledged for something nice about them. Even if it is something as simple as a cool nail polish color. If it makes them smile, then mission accomplished! After all, a smile is the most beautiful thing a person can wear :)

    

Of course women can have it all!!

     Do women have themselves to blame for work- family imbalances?

     I read this article and it triggered a lot of different responses for me. My question is: Why even place blame in the first place?

     Things end up or happen the way they do, because they just do. Feelings of guilt about not excelling at everything are really just misguided frustrations. Some people are content with not excelling at everything simply because they just don't want to.

     For those of us that try hard at everything we do, and sometimes fall short of our own bench marked goals, have many options on how to deal with it. Allow, for lack of a better word, "failures" to push you to do something different and better. Allow it to make you determined. Utter the words "Oh, hell no!" and jump back in. Placing guilt on yourself or others should never be one of those options. Take responsibility for your actions but making yourself feel guilty is destructive, distracting, and will push you farther away from your goal.

     If a woman wants it all, she should take it all. But you must know yourself. Know what you really want. If you don't know what you really want, you will never be satisfied with anything you have.

     I want it all. I have it all.

     My "all" is a great career (which I have begun), children and a family (which I have begun), a sense and love of self (which took awhile, but I have begun) and great friends and family by my side no matter what (which I have been truly blessed to always have had). To me, everything else is a bonus. You don't need to have it ALL, to have it all.

     If something just isn't working for you, then it's not for you. Everyone has a niche. Find yours :)

The (dis)Comforts of Change

     So I just found out we are having a son :) I am going to do my best not to turn him into a complete mama's boy. Challenge accepted.

     It got me thinking of how it's going to be with a little boy running around. And how his life might turn out like, and how different mine is going to be. Is he going to like coloring, or if he is going to leave me on the floor to color by myself? Is he going to be a reader like me, or an athlete like his father and I? Will he allow his mom into his tree house, or will it be no girls allowed? That I won't have much of a problem with. I'll just build my own next to his :) 

     When I was growing up I didn't have a care in the world, but I wonder how much my mom secretly worried about our safety, happiness, and everything in between. She didn't let it show.

     We used to be able to run the neighborhood at midnight playing flashlight tag with an entire block of neighborhood kids. Now we live in fear of who we may be living next to.
    
     I am going to be a mama bear. For sure. Keeping my worry in check is going to be a battle for me. How do you raise a kid in the world we live in today? I'm not saying things are terrible. We are becoming closer to being a more accepting society and we have made some amazing advances, especially in the medical field and technology. I just wish my son could meet up with all the neighbor kids and play tag or ride their bikes all over without having to practically put a GPS under his skin.

     While the societal decline gives me discomfort, I am comforted knowing that my son will be a part of this changing, amazing world! My world :)

Chivalry- Wanted: Dead or Alive

"When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife." ~anonymous

     I saw this quote on one of my favorite websites, www.thinkexist.com,  and it made me think of my dad. And dad, if you're reading this, I meant that to be a good thing!
   
 My daddy is one of my favorite superheroes. I may be a grown up but I call him daddy and I believe superheroes are real people :) Don't judge me!
  
  My parents have been married for 35 years. When I am with my parents and we go somewhere together, my dad opens my mom's car door, whether she's getting in or out. He opens her door for her walking into places. He works his butt off to make sure my mom is taken care of. My brother has picked up on this as well. (Good job, Justin!) These are just a couple examples of many things that are becoming lost to a society where we can not slow down and appreciate the little things.
   
     I asked my dad why he picked back up on the gentlemanly gestures. And he said "Why not?" That these were things he should have never stopped doing just because they are married.
  
 Thank you Dad for all you have done and continue to do for this family!! You are loved and respected and I am proud to call you my father. Happy Father's day!!

I saw the sign...and yes, it opened my eyes!!

     So if you know me or have been following my posts, you know that I am expecting my first child. I am 18 weeks along to be exact. About two weeks ago, we received the news that I was a carrier of Cystic Fibrosis, and another devastatingly scary genetic disease. Not gonna lie. I cried for days when I got the news. Apparently pregnancy is supposed to be stress free. I didn't get that memo.
     So in order to put our minds at ease, my boyfriend/ father of my child had the same genetic blood test done to see if he was a carrier as well. According to my doctor, 1 in 28 caucasians carry the gene. That covers both of us. Awesome.
     After a long two weeks of waiting for his results, I received the news and very excitedly passed it along that his results were negative. The baby is safe. So that morning...
    
     I got ready for work, thinking the whole time that my BF was my wild card and that his genetic makeup saved our baby from the possibility of leading a much tougher life than what this world will probably already give her, or him. (We don't know which yet!)
     For years, I wondered why I didn't have a child yet. I wanted it so badly. I had even been married at one point and I thought for sure a baby and a husband were part of my grand scheme.
     This thought process led me to believe even more strongly that I was meant to have a baby with Nick. What if someone I had been with in the past had been a carrier and we got pregnant? Would my child have been stricken with such a life altering disease? How would things have been different? That is why Nick is my wild card. And regardless of the hurdles we come across, we make it over together. And if we don't, we always seem to gravitate back together.
     After all this thinking and getting ready for work, I hopped into my car. And that is when my day turned into a scene, or scenes, from the movie "Bruce Almighty".
     I turned the key in the ignition, thanked my car for starting, and my ears were greeted with the chorus of Pat Benatar's "We Belong". I smiled.
     I got back to thinking of our baby and the disease and difficulty "she" was spared from. I thought of the possibilities of "her" life, and I vowed to make it amazing. As I did that, I drove by a church with a digital sign that read "He has shown merciful love".

     Had I not been paying attention, I would have missed these little affirmations. Needless to say, my faith has been restored in everything positive, pure, and good.

     A huge thanks to everyone that sent up prayers, offered support, and did some major positive thinking. I feel like I could take on the world right now :)

Abuse is not punishment!

     So I read a "Dear Abby" submission about a girl named "Amelia" who was lying to her parents and sneaking out around boys. She is 13 years old. Check it out for yourself.

      While the teenager's behavior is completely unacceptable, I am appalled at how the parents handled it. Shaving her head??!! Are you serious??!! I am going to be a mom in just a short time, and I cannot imagine doing that to my child. I understand that they were not able to get through to her, but to go to that extent amazes me. Of course parents love their child, and some may have a hard time figuring out how to deal with an unruly child, but that is not a show of love and concern.

     Am I wrong to suggest that the chosen method of "punishment" is abuse? I don't think I am too far off.
   
     I agree with the advice given. Family counseling. They will be lucky to even come close to repairing the damage that has been done. On all sides of the story. It is hopefully worth a shot. It seems to me that there isn't a person in that family knows how to listen.

     So let's all keep in mind, that when we are about to lose our minds, to think of the effects the response and punishment of a wrong doing is going to effect the family as a whole. I will punish my  kids when it is warranted, but I will do so in a manner that everyone will learn from the experience and grow as family.
 
     Lord knows this world isn't ready for my kids, anyway ;)

    

I knew I was on to something...

Is texting ruining the art of conversation?

     Answer: inarguably, yes.

      And not just because it decreases valuable social skills. Things can be misread, taken in the wrong "tone", or ignored. What is even more bothersome is the destruction of spelling and proper grammar. And unless there is a restraining order in the mix, do not break up with someone via text. LAME!!

     As far as social skills, we do not realize how important it is to be able to effectively communicate with each other. I feel as if conversations are just a bunch of "LOL's" and "OMG's". When you talk like you text, the answer is very clear you spend too much time on your phone, and not enough time engaging in actual conversation.

     Fighting via text. I do it sometimes. And I hate it!! I don't shy away from a good round or two once in a while, but if after a fight, my thumbs hurt more than my heart, there are issues. Not to mention the topic of discussion was not solved. You will never have somebody's full attention on a phone, unless your nickname is "Angry Birds". If the issue you are fighting about is worth the fight in the first place, then give it your full attention and respect, and talk about it, sometimes very loudly :), in person.

     I am not even going to touch on the spelling thing. Maybe I will do a blog on my biggest pet peeves, and how not to annoy me :)

     Breaking up via text. Plain and simple: Don't be a coward. You look lame if/ when you do that. It just proves the person you are breaking up with is better without you. 

     So the next time, you start a conversation that would be great in person, a "discussion", or even decide to rip out someone's heart and stomp on it, save your thumbs. Talk it out. Hug it out. Appreciate the fact that you even have that person to talk to!

For me, regret is not an option...

"Accept everything about yourself- I mean everything. You are you and that is the beginning and the end- no apologies, no regrets." ~ Henry Kissinger

     I recently turned 29 years old. And it hit me. I am a year closer to the big 3-0!!! What have I done with my life? As it turns out, I have done the usual. Laughed, cried, made friends, lost friends. Loved, lost, and thankfully gotten rid of :) Moved around a lot, settled down a little, and gained numerous battle scars.
     
     And surprisingly, of all the things I have done so far, the battle scars are what I am proud of the most. Until November. Then that will change when I finally get to see my first child, after an adventurous 9 months :)
     
     Without said scars, I would not be the person I am today. I have heard once or twice that I'm a pretty cool person. I will believe that when I get at LEAST 100 signatures on my petition ;) Anyways...


     I was asked once if I have ever regretted anything in my life. I can say with true, honest conviction that I live with no regrets. And that is hard to do. It is easy to let the negativity, naysayers, and everyday stress impact you. It is hard to live with some decisions made. 


     But you should try it. Instead of wishing you had done something differently, realize the lessons learned. After all, that is how we grow. You stop growing when you stop learning. Don't get down on yourself if things aren't turning out how you planned. There is a reason for that.


     Live as if it is your last day. Laugh out loud, even if you are alone. Love as if that person is the only one in the world. Take everyday for the blessing that it is.

Beauty is in the Reflection of the Mirror Gazer

     For those of you who participated in the Google Challenge, I have another one for you. Especially for you women :) But first, I must say a few words...

     I am so tired of hearing people say and do demeaning things to people who may not be super model material because we feel we are better than them. If we are ever going to grow as a society, we need to begin building each other up. Instead, people tear each other down just because someone's internal beauty falls on blind eyes.

     When I was in high school, I was verbally bullied about my body and it gave me some serious insecurities. I wasn't even overweight! It took me years to overcome the self doubt and feeling of not being good enough.

     And girls, I am calling you out. We are the worst when it comes to "hating" on people, especially other women. Who cares if her shoes aren't as nice as yours, or she doesn't dress as well as you. How do you know she didn't give her nicer things to somebody that needed it more than her? We should be ashamed of ourselves.

     Take a page out of this 8th grade girl's book. We have enough pressure to look like perfection from people that don't know us. So here is what WE, men and women alike,  are going to do.

     The next time you are hanging with your buddies and you see somebody you would normally make a rude joke or sarcastic remark about, stop yourself and find something about that person that warrants a positive remark. Or if you are standing in line somewhere, and you think a nice thought about the person next to you, give them the compliment. Let them hear it.

PAY FORWARD THE POSITIVE!!
   

The Google Challenge

     My sister and I have said on a few occasions "Communication may be the key but they keep changing the locks". This can be applied to many groups of people but right now I am targeting a specific group. Complete strangers.
     Why are we so afraid to talk to each other? I'm not saying you have to go up to a stranger and have the most mind blowing conversation to have ever been spoken into existence. All I am saying is, is when I smile and say "Hi" in passing, don't look at me like I am a complete weirdo. Return with a smile. It may be the best part of someone's day.
     So here is my idea to have some fun, and possibly make a friend you never thought you would have.
Stop Googling every little thing and ask someone for directions, or a general knowledge question, i.e. who sings the song "New York, New York"? You will find someone that knows the answer to your question. Even if you don't get your answer you can google it as a last resort. :)
     At least this way you are giving yourself an opportunity to meet someone new. What's wrong with that? Think of it as a verbal scavenger hunt.
     I know convenience outweighs everything, but I have done this in a restaurant while my friends sat at the table and plugged the question into their smartphones. Even though it took me a little while to find my answer, I sparked conversations at a number of tables, not just between myself and the people I was asking, but it gave them something to talk about other than the weather. And on a couple occasions it sparked a conversation between two separate tables. I don't know of any smart phone that can do that!
     So try the Google Challenge. Even for a day.

"Fear makes strangers of people who would be friends" ~Shirley MacLaine
    

Survival or Dependency?

     I often wonder what we are really teaching this generation. We live in a world that is on a technological fast track so speedy Jimmy Johns would make it employee of the month...every month.
     I recently read this article in The Oakland Press about a school district asking for funds to further support schools, renovations, programs, etc. That's awesome! I am all about giving students every opportunity to explore their interests and have a solid curriculum provided to them. The part I don't agree with is them asking for additional funds to provide students with iPads. I don't even own an iPad and I am pushing 30 years old! And this is where survival or dependency comes into play.
    Now close your eyes, figuratively :), and imagine a world with the possibility to transport a generation back in time. Would this generation be able to survive without smartphones, iPads, or, for heaven's sake, the internet?!?! Some of you are probably sitting there saying, "But you are using the internet to post this blog." I paid my dues by growing up without all this fancy stuff. I will use it and love it. :)
     Now I know this isn't the case for everyone, but when I was in school, I went to the library and used encyclopedias/ reference books, asked questions, and actually learned about the topic on which I was writing a research paper. Hence, I did actual research for my research paper. Hmmm... imagine that. I believe the lesser access to all this technology has made me quite resourceful, and I didn't, and still don't,  depend on the internet to teach me what I want to know.
     Case and point: When theaters were playing Titanic 3D recently, people were actually tweeting their surprise that the Titanic and the catastrophe that it ended with was real. While they were OMGing, I was mentally smacking their heads together, wondering what other historical events they were not aware of.
    Lord, help us, if this is what we have to look forward to.