Of course women can have it all!!

     Do women have themselves to blame for work- family imbalances?

     I read this article and it triggered a lot of different responses for me. My question is: Why even place blame in the first place?

     Things end up or happen the way they do, because they just do. Feelings of guilt about not excelling at everything are really just misguided frustrations. Some people are content with not excelling at everything simply because they just don't want to.

     For those of us that try hard at everything we do, and sometimes fall short of our own bench marked goals, have many options on how to deal with it. Allow, for lack of a better word, "failures" to push you to do something different and better. Allow it to make you determined. Utter the words "Oh, hell no!" and jump back in. Placing guilt on yourself or others should never be one of those options. Take responsibility for your actions but making yourself feel guilty is destructive, distracting, and will push you farther away from your goal.

     If a woman wants it all, she should take it all. But you must know yourself. Know what you really want. If you don't know what you really want, you will never be satisfied with anything you have.

     I want it all. I have it all.

     My "all" is a great career (which I have begun), children and a family (which I have begun), a sense and love of self (which took awhile, but I have begun) and great friends and family by my side no matter what (which I have been truly blessed to always have had). To me, everything else is a bonus. You don't need to have it ALL, to have it all.

     If something just isn't working for you, then it's not for you. Everyone has a niche. Find yours :)

The (dis)Comforts of Change

     So I just found out we are having a son :) I am going to do my best not to turn him into a complete mama's boy. Challenge accepted.

     It got me thinking of how it's going to be with a little boy running around. And how his life might turn out like, and how different mine is going to be. Is he going to like coloring, or if he is going to leave me on the floor to color by myself? Is he going to be a reader like me, or an athlete like his father and I? Will he allow his mom into his tree house, or will it be no girls allowed? That I won't have much of a problem with. I'll just build my own next to his :) 

     When I was growing up I didn't have a care in the world, but I wonder how much my mom secretly worried about our safety, happiness, and everything in between. She didn't let it show.

     We used to be able to run the neighborhood at midnight playing flashlight tag with an entire block of neighborhood kids. Now we live in fear of who we may be living next to.
    
     I am going to be a mama bear. For sure. Keeping my worry in check is going to be a battle for me. How do you raise a kid in the world we live in today? I'm not saying things are terrible. We are becoming closer to being a more accepting society and we have made some amazing advances, especially in the medical field and technology. I just wish my son could meet up with all the neighbor kids and play tag or ride their bikes all over without having to practically put a GPS under his skin.

     While the societal decline gives me discomfort, I am comforted knowing that my son will be a part of this changing, amazing world! My world :)

Chivalry- Wanted: Dead or Alive

"When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife." ~anonymous

     I saw this quote on one of my favorite websites, www.thinkexist.com,  and it made me think of my dad. And dad, if you're reading this, I meant that to be a good thing!
   
 My daddy is one of my favorite superheroes. I may be a grown up but I call him daddy and I believe superheroes are real people :) Don't judge me!
  
  My parents have been married for 35 years. When I am with my parents and we go somewhere together, my dad opens my mom's car door, whether she's getting in or out. He opens her door for her walking into places. He works his butt off to make sure my mom is taken care of. My brother has picked up on this as well. (Good job, Justin!) These are just a couple examples of many things that are becoming lost to a society where we can not slow down and appreciate the little things.
   
     I asked my dad why he picked back up on the gentlemanly gestures. And he said "Why not?" That these were things he should have never stopped doing just because they are married.
  
 Thank you Dad for all you have done and continue to do for this family!! You are loved and respected and I am proud to call you my father. Happy Father's day!!

I saw the sign...and yes, it opened my eyes!!

     So if you know me or have been following my posts, you know that I am expecting my first child. I am 18 weeks along to be exact. About two weeks ago, we received the news that I was a carrier of Cystic Fibrosis, and another devastatingly scary genetic disease. Not gonna lie. I cried for days when I got the news. Apparently pregnancy is supposed to be stress free. I didn't get that memo.
     So in order to put our minds at ease, my boyfriend/ father of my child had the same genetic blood test done to see if he was a carrier as well. According to my doctor, 1 in 28 caucasians carry the gene. That covers both of us. Awesome.
     After a long two weeks of waiting for his results, I received the news and very excitedly passed it along that his results were negative. The baby is safe. So that morning...
    
     I got ready for work, thinking the whole time that my BF was my wild card and that his genetic makeup saved our baby from the possibility of leading a much tougher life than what this world will probably already give her, or him. (We don't know which yet!)
     For years, I wondered why I didn't have a child yet. I wanted it so badly. I had even been married at one point and I thought for sure a baby and a husband were part of my grand scheme.
     This thought process led me to believe even more strongly that I was meant to have a baby with Nick. What if someone I had been with in the past had been a carrier and we got pregnant? Would my child have been stricken with such a life altering disease? How would things have been different? That is why Nick is my wild card. And regardless of the hurdles we come across, we make it over together. And if we don't, we always seem to gravitate back together.
     After all this thinking and getting ready for work, I hopped into my car. And that is when my day turned into a scene, or scenes, from the movie "Bruce Almighty".
     I turned the key in the ignition, thanked my car for starting, and my ears were greeted with the chorus of Pat Benatar's "We Belong". I smiled.
     I got back to thinking of our baby and the disease and difficulty "she" was spared from. I thought of the possibilities of "her" life, and I vowed to make it amazing. As I did that, I drove by a church with a digital sign that read "He has shown merciful love".

     Had I not been paying attention, I would have missed these little affirmations. Needless to say, my faith has been restored in everything positive, pure, and good.

     A huge thanks to everyone that sent up prayers, offered support, and did some major positive thinking. I feel like I could take on the world right now :)

Abuse is not punishment!

     So I read a "Dear Abby" submission about a girl named "Amelia" who was lying to her parents and sneaking out around boys. She is 13 years old. Check it out for yourself.

      While the teenager's behavior is completely unacceptable, I am appalled at how the parents handled it. Shaving her head??!! Are you serious??!! I am going to be a mom in just a short time, and I cannot imagine doing that to my child. I understand that they were not able to get through to her, but to go to that extent amazes me. Of course parents love their child, and some may have a hard time figuring out how to deal with an unruly child, but that is not a show of love and concern.

     Am I wrong to suggest that the chosen method of "punishment" is abuse? I don't think I am too far off.
   
     I agree with the advice given. Family counseling. They will be lucky to even come close to repairing the damage that has been done. On all sides of the story. It is hopefully worth a shot. It seems to me that there isn't a person in that family knows how to listen.

     So let's all keep in mind, that when we are about to lose our minds, to think of the effects the response and punishment of a wrong doing is going to effect the family as a whole. I will punish my  kids when it is warranted, but I will do so in a manner that everyone will learn from the experience and grow as family.
 
     Lord knows this world isn't ready for my kids, anyway ;)

    

I knew I was on to something...

Is texting ruining the art of conversation?

     Answer: inarguably, yes.

      And not just because it decreases valuable social skills. Things can be misread, taken in the wrong "tone", or ignored. What is even more bothersome is the destruction of spelling and proper grammar. And unless there is a restraining order in the mix, do not break up with someone via text. LAME!!

     As far as social skills, we do not realize how important it is to be able to effectively communicate with each other. I feel as if conversations are just a bunch of "LOL's" and "OMG's". When you talk like you text, the answer is very clear you spend too much time on your phone, and not enough time engaging in actual conversation.

     Fighting via text. I do it sometimes. And I hate it!! I don't shy away from a good round or two once in a while, but if after a fight, my thumbs hurt more than my heart, there are issues. Not to mention the topic of discussion was not solved. You will never have somebody's full attention on a phone, unless your nickname is "Angry Birds". If the issue you are fighting about is worth the fight in the first place, then give it your full attention and respect, and talk about it, sometimes very loudly :), in person.

     I am not even going to touch on the spelling thing. Maybe I will do a blog on my biggest pet peeves, and how not to annoy me :)

     Breaking up via text. Plain and simple: Don't be a coward. You look lame if/ when you do that. It just proves the person you are breaking up with is better without you. 

     So the next time, you start a conversation that would be great in person, a "discussion", or even decide to rip out someone's heart and stomp on it, save your thumbs. Talk it out. Hug it out. Appreciate the fact that you even have that person to talk to!